Having John Home...

Until June of this year, John very seldom watched his boys play sports.
We moved to this area four years ago this week - not by choice, but by necessity. John was one of the unlucky "victims" of the fall-out from 9/11...a senior consultant in the computer industry. Along with several of his fellow consultants, he lost his job late in 2002.
The complete story is too long and still too painful to give in full detail, but we ended up moving across the country, for a job offer that turned out to be a scam. Fortunately, we moved from the MOST expensive area of the U.S. (California) to the least expensive (Check out any survey in Forbes and our area will be listed at the bottom...).
While we are fortunate to live in our dream home, John was not able to find a dream job, or ANY job for that matter. As a result - he did contract work, out of state, for several years.
The worst was 18 months in Madison, Wisconsin. He was paid his expenses for his time there but he had to cover his travel home. So...he came home every two or three weeks...
I really tried to do it all while he was gone - school, work, house, sports...Bottom line - it was killing us all...I wanted help, he wanted to be here, and the boys just wanted their Dad!
So he came home...he took a job with a significant pay drop - an hour commute each way. In hindsight, not the greatest move financially but he made a knee jerk reaction. At the time - Cameron was playing on his final All-Star team for Little League. He just wanted to see his son play...

So today being Saturday, we watched our boys play...
And I watched him...I watched as he saw Jackson win his game 41 to 12. I watched as he saw Caeden score a touchdown (bobbling the hand-off the entire time but still making it in...) I watched as he saw Cameron practice with his new Pony baseball team - batting with one hand (still in a cast...) and hitting into the outfield.
I watched him watch his boys...and realized that he really is the best Dad in the world!

Love and Aspergers

Jackson had his heart broken today.
He is now in middle school (5th grade in our town). He loves to brag that he is considered a pre-teen, even though he just turned 11.
All his friends are "going with" girls (or so he tells me). It appears to be THE thing to do in 5th grade - ask a girl to go with you, exchange little notes and presents, and nothing more (Thank GOD!)
His other bestest friend (besides Donnie), is a blond football stud named Christian. He has been groomed for a career in football his whole life; the plan is for he and his brother to attend one of the most prestigious football high schools in the state, and be awarded a full scholarship to ANY college they choose. It is predestined...
Christian, as a football stud, can "go with" any girl he wants. He has chosen a girl named Jordan who completely dotes on him - including baking brownies for he and his friends to share at school during lunch.
Jackson wants and expects the same attention, (he is a defensive beast, after all..)and has chosen our neighbor, Betsy, as his object of affection. Therein lies the problem...
Betsy is THE girl in middle school. She is IT! He is one of many boys in line..
Today he asked her to go with him and today she said NO!
He came home and asked me if he had to go to his youth group tonight, explaining that he had been "rejected" today and wasn't up to socializing.
We let him stay home and deal with his rejection...
As I was telling his stud brother about this situation, who, as part of the middle school team, has 8th grade girls surrounding him at high school games on Friday nights; I realized that this too will pass...
Our defensive beast, our boy who has been diagnosed on the autism spectrum, will wear one of these jerseys in two years...and Betsy will notice...

4:30 to 6:00 (or later...)

It seems everyday, beginning around 4:30pm, life as we know it becomes the Ringling Brothers Circus. That is generally the time I begin running children to three different locations; practices, games, lessons etc., finishing up sometime after 6pm. The sometime after 6 is the variance in this scenario...
Last night, we thought we had everything under control. Cameron started his practice right after school (no worries about him until pick-up at 6), Jackson began at 4:30 at one school, Caeden began at 5:00 at another. John and I perfectly coordinated who would pick up each child, while still allowing me time to get to the grocery store and buy some sort of dessert for our new bible study class that began at 7pm.
I knew I was in trouble when no one was at the field for Caeden at 5pm.
As I sat in my kidmobile, waiting, my cell phone rang...it was a guy from church who works for some sort of lobbying group that I had agreed to join and he needed a check from me within the half hour so he could make his quota for the month. I needed to find a window of time to meet him...
Quick change of plans - John would pick up Jackson at 6, Caeden at 6:30, I will get Cameron at the middle school. In between, I will run home and write my lobbying check...why do I need lobbying again?! I'm Canadian!
When I get to the middle school, Cameron and his team are still on the field. At 6:10 John calls to say Jackson is ALSO still on the field. Time to call the bible study leader...
"Don't worry - show up late...", but I'm scheduled for dessert!...The panic rises in my throat...It's our first night with this new group!
When I get home with Cameron I need to put some sort of dinner together for the boys. John and I?...Guess we'll be starting our first Tuesday of the month prayer and fasting 12 hours early...
John gets home with the other two - runs up the stairs to change - some sort of fish and chicken nugget pasta thing gets put on the table for the boys - and we run out the door (I think it's 6:50 at this point)
Next stop - Giant Eagle for the dessert thing...as we look for something that tastes homemade, John wonders if I know where the Hawkins live? Down the street by the Lutheran church and it's the only house with a white picket fence...
Three streets and two picket fences later (7:20pm) - we land at our destination - completely calm and ready for an enlightening and wonderous evening of bible study!
Not sure about John, but I am completely glazed over by this point - I think I heard a story about Phillip and Spartans and Jews (no, wait a minute...the Spartans are Cameron's football team!)
Oh well - I got it half right. I think God gives bonus points...

The Weekend Without Mum

I left the boys (including John) alone all weekend, knowing they would survive, but also anticipating what the house would look like on my return late Sunday evening!
I wish I could say I went away on a spa weekend...but alas, this weekend was not about me (when is it EVER about me!)
I am a relatively new member of our local Rotary organization. Unlike many other service clubs around the country, ours is very active and thriving in the community. By far the biggest event of the year is the Oktoberfest arts and crafts festival that our club has hosted for 30 years! Held in our main community park, it raises close to $100,000 and has tens of thousands of visitors. This picture I took can attest to the size of the crowd!

As a new member, I decided I should participate in every aspect of the weekend, as a way of understanding the scope of the event, and as a way to get to know my fellow Rotarians better. That meant most of the day Friday, Saturday, beginning at 8am and finishing around 6, and Sunday, starting at 5AM and getting home at 8PM!
So - I was stinking tired and grumpy on my return Sunday night...
After barking something to them about whether they had cut the grass (they hadn't), whether Caeden had done his reading (he had), whether they had showers (yes to all); I scarfed down my only real food all day (a bowl of soup), grabbed a glass of wine, sat on the couch...and fell asleep (full glass still in my hand and believe me, I NEVER leave a glass of wine unfinished!).
This morning when I was back to the land of the living I discovered what my boys had actually done all day...played football with their Dad in the backyard.
The house WAS a mess and the grass HADN'T been cut - and they didn't miss me one bit!
So what should I do next weekend?! Play football in the uncut backyard with my boys...