It's Time To Quit

I can't volunteer anymore.

I have always been one to put myself out there, take leadership roles, get things done..only to inevitably have it bite me in the a...

Obviously my personality really doesn't lend itself to this type of endeavor as I am terrible at taking criticism and when you take on these positions you are ALWAYS criticized.

I want to just start to cocoon and be quiet - for the rest of my life.

Back To The Land Of The Living

Jackson came home Monday night. Tough few days - ultimately they wouldn't do the surgery because of the location of the abscess.

I've come to the conclusion that it is VERY STUPID to rotate doctors every 24 hours - we had five doctors in five days. Continuity of care? Not likely...

One of the first doctors only ordered two doses of steroids. Had this treatment been continued without interruption, we probably would have been home Sunday. As it was, the follow up scan showed the abscess had organized and GROWN - not the result we were looking for with the second scan.

Long story short - two doses of steroids and a good night's sleep and Jackson woke up Monday morning with full movement in his neck. He came home to 12 pills a day for six days - we'll know if we're completely out of the woods with the "final" CTscan next Monday.

Here is a chronicle of his hospital stay in pictures. The best is the shot of the Chicago Bears jersey. It is an original 1980's Mike Singletary jersey from our pastor - he just happened to have it hanging around in his closet for the last 20 years. BTW - did I tell you that Jackson is the BIGGEST Chicago Bears fan in the history of the Chicago Bears?!? He'll be very happy I mentioned that...

Day One...
Da Bears...
Cardinals and Eagles Playoff Game...
Going Home...

It Got Worse

We found out the "what's next".

Jackson is in the hospital.

We went to the orthopedic specialist at 2:05 yesterday and I could tell from his demeanor that he was looking at something far beyond what he expected. From his simple observation, and probably what he smelled (more on that later), he said he suspected that Jackson might have an infection in his C1 and C2 vertabrae or a peritonsillar abscess. He left the room to consult with our family doctor about next steps. Good to note here that while he was gone Jackson mentioned that he'd had a lot of trouble breathing at lunch that day.

When he returned, after overhearing several muffled phone calls, he said they were "waiting for us" at Akron Children's Hospital up the road as they needed to run a CTscan to determine what was happening. Word from the wise; when they tell you the hospital is waiting for you, it's never a good sign!

They ran the scan and did bloodwork, which he handled fabulously. Right after the USAirways plane crashed into the Hudson they came to the waiting room, "the test was positive..."

The Radiologist came to speak to me separately. "This abscess is a large mass, touching his airway. Do you understand how extremely lucky you are that you came today? This would have blocked his airway within a matter of days...and we wouldn't have been able to do anything at that point. What in the world made you come today? He doesn't show ANY symptoms of this."

My answer, "God, and an incredibly brilliant Orthopedic Specialist who hadn't had to look into a throat since he was an intern".

The cause? A strep throat infection that no one noticed because he has an incredibly high pain tolerance (Aspergers) and he doesn't get fevers (a genetic flaw inherited from his Dad). We thought we were dealing with a a muscle spasm, at the back of his neck no less, when all along it was an abscess at the front that was pushing on the muscle in the back and causing his loss of motion.

And the smell? (which I had noticed and thought it was from his meds). A strep infection has a very particular smell that comes out through the pores - now we know.

The prognosis? He's on heavy I.V. antibiotics and steroids to reduce the mass (we hope). They will do another scan on Sunday morning. If all is well he will come home on oral antibiotics. If not, we will be driving to Akron (the main hospital) for surgery to drain the puss from the mass...

John and I are doing rotating shifts. I had last night, tonight is his night...and I'm going to bed.

Could This Get Any Worse?!

Now I think I have strep throat. I have never had pain like this in my throat - EVER. Heading to the doctor in 1/2 hour.

And taking Jackson to an Orthopedic Surgeon at 2pm - but he seems better, at least mentally he's starting to come back.

What next?!...

Time For A Second Opinion

This has gone on long enough...

The neck is still not better. He's not eating, he laid on the couch from the time he got home from school until he decided to go to bed at 8:30, he has a weird smell coming out of his pours (probably the meds), and he fluctuates between screaming at me and crying.

He won't put heat on his neck because it smells (it doesn't but his senses make him think it does), he won't let me touch it to gently massage the muscle (the doctor has also told me to not touch it), and he won't try to move it to loosen it up.

He's fading away before my eyes - all this because of a stupid muscle spasm!?!

Give me a break - something else is wrong and I'm not going to wait for the "meds" to kick in anymore.

Look out medical community - SportsMum is on the warpath!!!

Ugh - Snow and Sickness

This actually would have been a great weekend had it not been for Jackson being sicker than I have ever seen him!

We had a "snowstorm" Friday night and Saturday. It really wasn't much of a storm by Canadian standards - lots and lots of snow (about 12 inches)and Ohioans really don't know how to clear it away quickly. Or, as Canadian's would do, simply plow through it in their four-wheel drives.

We would have gone sledding except for Jackson's misery. Instead, Caeden invented a new game - "Professional SNOW Jumping"

So about Jackson...the sleepness night I spoke of earlier in the week became unbearable as the muscle spasms in his neck contracted to the point of excruciating pain in his ear and throat. We had xrays on Friday that showed his spinal cord in his neck pulled back as far as it could go from the muscle spasm. The doctor put him on an anti-inflammatory AND a muscle relaxant.

I don't know a great deal about meds as I truly hate taking them myself but I was horrified by the effect the muscle relaxant had on Jackson. He was a virtual zombie from Saturday morning until last night. I made the decision not to give him his second dose yesterday and he woke up this morning with (almost) his personality back. The neck is still a little funky (and he's still getting the anti-inflammatory) but I will NEVER give him the other pills again.

I will admit, he was still an absolute BEAR this morning but so is his mother when she's sick. Not so glad he inherited that trait from me...

It's Going To Be A Crazy Week...

Can't write...no time...

1. Two big projects to do by end of day tomorrow...

2. Parents arrive sometime in the afternoon...(please hold off snow!)

3. House needs to be cleaned (parents arrive TOMORROW!)

4. Twelve people for dinner on Thursday (house still needs to be cleaned!)

5. BLACK FRIDAY!

6. Christmas tree hunting Saturday (house will need to be cleaned - again!)

7. Parents leave Sunday...and the house won't need to be cleaned :)

I Need A Magic Pill

There needs to be a pill invented for days like today. One that pulls all the lose ends together and makes the world stop spinning - if only for a brief moment to catch your breath.

I logged about 200 minutes on my cell phone today. Nuff said...

The Danger of Political Rhetoric

This election has prompted me to consider starting another blog. The intensity of this political season has stirred up emotions in everyone I know.

Watching the news last night and seeing the rage at the McCain/Palin rallies has disturbed me on so many levels. I'm really concerned for the candidates safety!

The anger and intensity of the emotions is being fueled by the negative rhetoric of the candidates themselves. Someone needs to put the brakes on Sarah Palin's attack dog strategy before it veers into violence.

I have to applaud John McCain for trying to dispel the anger. Good for him in defending Obama as a person. Good for him in seeing the dangerous situation his running mate's speeches are creating. I was really impressed and touched when I saw him gently reprimand the woman who called Obama an Arab - that was CLASS!

And then there's Sarah. She fires up a crowd by telling them she's afraid of Obama and then IGNORES the comment from the crowd "KILL HIM". What is wrong with this woman? Is she so ambitious that she would put someone's life on the line to win an election?

God forbid something happens, but if it does, I hope people will remember her role and judge her accordingly.

If they don't - I think I'll move back to Canada...

Hallelujah!

52 hours.

Our lights came on at precisely 12:23 a.m. ending the longest power outage in our family history.

How's the saying go?...If you love something, let it go, if it comes back it is yours, if it never returns it was never yours to begin with.

Power is MINE!

Where For Art Thou Ohio Edison?

As of this posting we are entering our 39th hour without power.

I just got back from a couple of meetings and in my wanderings noticed two areas where trees had fallen over power lines - so it's obvious where the trouble spots are. What I also noticed was that the trees, for the most part, had been removed, making accessibility to the power lines possible. What I didn't see was a single Ohio Edison truck in either of these locations!

Where are they? Well, we heard that they are in Texas helping out the Hurricane Ike victims. Hello? Wasn't it the remnants of Hurricane Ike that came through here on Sunday night?! Nothing like taking care of your own.

But there is a silver lining...we played games last night. No television, computer or video games - well, actually, the game we played was "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader", on DVD, with our tv hooked up to the generator.

But we did play it by candlelight...

The Day The Lights Went Out In Ohio

23 hours without power and no end in sight...we're hearing maybe by Thursday!

No T.V., video games, and sporadic computer time (thanks to our neighbor Ken, the generator king)

...SHOOT ME NOW!!!

What They Don't Tell You About The First Week Of High School

I remember when Caeden started Kindergarten four years ago they warned us that he wouldn't be himself for the first couple of weeks. Physical and mental exhaustion would consume him and he would be irritable, whiny and inconsolable.

They don't warn you that the same thing happens in high school.

Cameron is a wreck. When I picked him up from football practice last night he absolutely broke down. In fact, I picked up his best-friend Devin too and I'm sure he would have done the same had he not been with me.

He's up at 6am, the bus arrives at 6:45, first bell is 7:45, final bell's at 3pm, then he has 3 hours of football practice - everyday...

So how does he cope?..."I'm quitting football. My heart's just not in it...I've lost my desire".

"Well you know Cameron, we've always said that you can't quit a sport in the middle of the season...but you don't have to play next year if you don't want". I said this as my mind went "who are you and what have you done with my kid?!"

A few hours later, after a shower and a good meat and potatoes meal, it was like the earlier conversation had never happened.

"You know what Mum?...our quarterback is really struggling. The coach might bench him. Then Dayne will be QB and he ALWAYS throws to me in practice".

Welcome to the Jekyll and Hyde world of high school...

Rebuttal...

I just received a comment on my last post about Awards Season. Shockingly, someone from this town actually reads my blog and even more shockingly, took offense to what I had written!

To clarify...the reader was appalled that I didn't see my son in any of the slides from the awards ceremony and that I expected more of HIM - like he deserved to be the center of attention...

What I was trying to convey - in a tongue in cheek manner that obviously didn't come across - was that my son HATES to be the center of attention and would go out of his way to NOT, I repeat, NOT, be in any of the pictures. Therefore, it was no surprise to me that I did not see him and I was making a joke to that effect.

For those loyal and anonymous readers from Boardman - I thought the video was BEAUTIFUL. Touching, fun and great for the kids to see.

I wish my son had a desire to be part of it...

Wordless Wednesday - Heaven and Hell

My home office...evidence that I got what I prayed for...

Stop The Madness!

Life, as I know it, has changed dramatically...over the course of ONE day!

I rarely talk about my work, but several months ago I mentioned that I had left my job and gone out on my own. The stress of that decision was enormous as my husband lost his own contract six weeks later. Leading up to Christmas, neither of us had any sustainable income.

My, how times can change when you persevere! This is where I have to go to my one and only source of wisdom; James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."

Today - after months of writing proposals, attending meetings with no compensation, and doing "favors" for friends, I picked up THREE new accounts!

Three VERY BIG accounts. In fact, I may actually need to contract someone to help me manage my new workload!

But wait - there's more! I have to transition my new accounts into my new company, that I have been asked to manage...because my little rinky dink operation is being amalgamated into a larger firm...who woulda thunk?!?

So from trying to figure out how to pay the mortgage last week to looking at hiring some help...I don't really want to stop the madness...I just want to say thank you God...

Should Old Aquaintance Be Forgot...

I have a theory that applies only to me - every odd numbered year is generally not very good, even year's bring much more joy.

Starting in 1989, I can prove my odd year theory...
1989: New boss at work - the worse I've ever had; prompted me to hand in my resignation the end of the following year
1991: Bad leading to good - leave my home, my best-friends, my family; and move to the other side of the country. Meet John two weeks after I arrive :)
1993: John loses his first job; My Mom died
1995: John loses his next job
1997: My company refuses to compromise on my return after maternity leave, I quit and go freelance
1999: Stuff in our marriage - won't go into details
2001: REALLY bad stuff in our marriage (briefly break-up), and of course, 9/11
2003: John without work, forced to leave California for Ohio
2005: John still without permanent work, takes job in Wisconsin, we see him 4 days a month for almost two years; I take a new job at the university that I HATE!
2007: John has two jobs, second one ends unexpectedly; I quit my job earlier than planned - go deeper into debt

And the even year's:
1990: Tour with the Molson Indy circuit (a blast!), go to Vancouver, decide to quit my job and move!
1992: Marry John
1994: Cameron is born
1996: Jackson is born
1998: Caeden is born
2000: Buy new house in California; elected PTA President
2002: Marriage is GREAT; 10th Anniversary; lose lots of weight, look great!
2004: Start new job in advertising, start to settle into living in Ohio, Cameron makes first All-Star baseball team
2006: Back with advertising company, get lots of new clients, start making really good friends in Ohio
2008: My company is starting to take off, John has a new PERMANENT job he loves, boys are all very healthy, I will lose 40 pounds...(had to throw in a resolution somewhere...)

...THE BEST IS YET TO COME!

Back to Basics

Today I had a chance to re-read some of my posts. Jackson is sick with some sort of virus so I pulled the short straw to stay home from church - hence, I have time to read!

I realized that my writing has taken a not-so-entertaining path over the last few weeks; obviously a result of the job stress. I really didn't like what I read - I really didn't like the person who was writing it!

In an earlier post I had discussed the symptoms of PMS and how it affects my emotions. Obviously, with stress, these same symptoms carried over into the last few weeks. Granted, I have probably dealt with more stress in the last several years than most people handle in a lifetime - our job situation, being forced to move, virtually being a single parent for the better part of three years, and raising a child on the autism spectrum! In the grander scheme of things, this doesn't appear to be such an immense burden (thank God we've all had our health!), but living it takes its toll!

This most recent contract loss briefly put me over the edge...I think last weekend was my rock-bottom! However, over these last several days, I have started to feel normal again and want to get back to basics with this blog! You'll see - SportsMum is back...

Going Through The Motions

Our baby turned nine yesterday. By all accounts the plans surrounding his birthday were a resounding success, but I have to admit that I was a terrific actress throughout the weekend. I am so frantically stressed about the job situation (or lack thereof..) that my body is literally falling apart.

For me, stress tends to show itself physically...The initial signs are quite obvious...constant headache that begins in the jaw area from clenching my teeth and permeates down into my neck etc...I've had this symptom for two weeks now. I know that it's moved to a different level when my heart starts racing uncontrollably and I have to take a deep breath in order not to pass out...I think that started happening on Friday.

This latest stress, I've moved to a whole new level of physical breakdown...my entire left side from my waist down to my toes has gone numb. Yes - the obvious thing would be to get to the doctor BUT, our insurance was cancelled the day John's contract was cancelled! Doctors aren't in the budget...

Onto happier thoughts...Caeden's birthday - somehow I managed to arrange for seven 8 and 9 year olds to come here for a sleepover and also managed to organize a VERY fun scavenger hunt on our street that culminated in a fire and s'mores galore! The biggest success by far was the fact that not one of the boys had to call their parents at 2 in the morning to go home! Even after all that sugar, we successfully exhausted them into deep, deep sleep.